It is ridiculous that the woman who influences me the most in my life is my mom and I have not written much about her! Actually writing about her is scary because it confirms to me how similar we are, and I do not, I emphasize, I DO NOT like it a bit!
First, mommy is a writer. She writes as easily as she breaths. It is more like a desire than a task she does everyday. And the same for me. If I do not write, I don't think I could overcome all the obstacles in my life. Writing is my therapy, my stress reliever, my friend, my mentor, and my love.
Second, mommy is a teacher at heart. She is passionate about teaching. Her students adored her, loved her, spoiled her, and remembered her although they studied with her years ago for a short period of only one or two years. Don't know how she did it, but her students genuinely adored her.
Third, mommy is a feminist in so many ways. She does not cook, nor does she force me cook or do housework well. This is very strange for a Vietnamese woman to do! She encourages me to read, perform well academically, think, show off my intellectual ability, and grow as much as I could. She always makes me feel that I am so special and that I do not need to worry much about men. Let them worry about me instead. As a result, I am ignorant, naive, arrogant, and clueless when it comes to men and romantic love! Mom never trained me well in that area.
Fourth, we share common values. Mom's heart is very soft and she cares so much for the disadvantaged people. Every year she raises money for the orphanage here and there. Her pension, savings, and those of her retired friends go toward charity organizations. Because of this reason, mommy easily understands the way I lead my life although I am sure there are so many times she disagrees and wish that I would do otherwise.
I grew up with mom for ten years because dad was in America. I did not know until recently how much she influenced me. Unlike other moms, when I was young I was allowed to play with children in very "bad neighborhood." This helped me tremendously in my social skills. I have learned to interact, talk, work, and joke with people from many backgrounds because of this. The good thing was I understood them but I never copied their language, their behavior, or their way of thinking. Since very young age, mom enabled me to expose myself to different cultures and yet hang on to my core values.
Our neighbors respected mom greatly although she rarely stepped out of the door to interact with them. In their eyes, she was a highly educated woman who was busy reading, painting, and writing. Every time we moved, and we moved quite a few number of times, we brought with us hundred of books. That was our main treasure. Although we may not have enough money for food, school tuition, and clothing, mommy always put aside budget for book purchase.
Mom's door was always open to visitors. My older sisters' and brothers' friends loved to drop by for a visit because they always felt welcome by her. She would laugh at their jokes, joined in the conversations, gave comments here and there, and just simply enjoyed their presence. I was born an introvert, yet because of mom's way of living, I liked to be surrounded by other people. Whenever I needed time on my own, I just ran to a lake somewhere, sat and read, and then came back to the my crowded home.
Mom is very determined despite her feminine look and her lack of ability to defend her wants and needs vocally. Whatever she wanted, she just did it. It took her seven times to pass her driving test, yet she did not give up. It took her seven years to pass her A.A. degree, yet she kept trying. It was funny to see how painful it was for her to pass her last required course, math, and it was a sweating labor for her. I admired her so much for her perseverance.
Mom and I did not get along that well. I think none of her kids, except my older brother who loved her unconditionally and ignored everything she did, quite appreciated and understood mom the way she was. Main reason, I think, is probably because we view her as our friend more than as our mom. However, the older I become, the more experience I earned, and the more wisdom I accumulated, the more I loved mom. It was scary from times to times to realize how similar we are. Yet I am so proud of her that the fear slowly subside.
Mommy is the best thing that happened in my life. I can proudly state that I am everything I am because of her love, her support, and her blind trust in who I am.
Mom, I love you.
July 23, 2010.
Saigon, Vietnam.
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