Designing My Own Destiny

I would like to dedicate this piece of writing to the RMIT English Club students. I am honoured to be one of the two guest speakers in their Storytelling Contest, which allowed me to share this personal experience of mine with others. Thank you.

When I turned 20 years old, I decided to have my astrology chart interpreted by a Vietnamese astrologer. You know the thing about providing him your birth hour and date and he would tell you everything about your life. In Vietnamese it is called ‘Lá Số Tử Vi.’ So I received this small notebook which described in details all aspects of my life, from career, family, to wealth, love, and marriage. In short, I was born under unlucky stars! I read it, and was unconsciously haunted by it for the following thirteen years, especially by the statement that I was predestined to have a sorrowful love life.

Of course being a Vietnamese American, I pretended that I did not care about the astrology. Yeah right – like I could really do it! I even hunted for scientific answers and research about the Sciences of Eastern Astrology, how accurate it is, and how to understand it better. My American side told me not to believe in it, that it was all crap, and that I was in charge of my life. Yet my Vietnamese identity convinced me that there must be some truth in it. After all, Eastern Astrology had been around for thousand years, right? No matter how hard I tried, the astrologer’s interpretation that I would have a sorrowful love life negatively impacted all my relationship decision making, from getting in love, being committed, to getting out of love. In the end, when my marriage shattered after six years of effort, I decided to confront myself, ‘Why did I let myself end up in this situation?’ It was so much easier to blame my ex-husband, but I believed that I was at least 50% responsible for my marriage's failure.

After sleepless nights of thinking, reflecting, and also crying, one day it suddenly daunted to me that the hidden belief that I was predestined to be unhappy in love was the main reason for my unhappy marriage. Despite the astrologer’s statement that I was born under unlucky stars, never once in my life did I doubt about my ability, intelligence, and talents. Despite the long, laborious 12-year searching journey, I never once thought about giving up my career dream. That was the key to my current happy career. I love my job! However, when it came to love relationship, not only did I have no clue about it, I also believed I was predestined to be unhappy. The result was inevitable – I got myself into unhealthy relationships that led to unhappy ending.

In short, from now on I am determined to be happy in love. I completely stopped believing in my astrology chart. Well, I went to a fortune teller just for fun because that was the only way to meet my girl friends. You know, just a short message ‘Hey, đi coi bói không?’ and all of them would respond to me yes! And I do occasionally read the daily horoscope messages in my mailbox because I am curious of what they might say. However, I no longer let ‘the destiny’ impacts my life. Regarding being happy in love, I don’t know how I will do it, you know, dating or loving properly. I learn as I go. I just know one thing surely. I will be happy in love. That’s all. Just like Adam Khoo had name one of his bestselling books, ‘Master Your Mind, Design Your Destiny,’ from now on I start designing my own destiny.

Saigon,
August 25th, 2010