I remember in the first ESL class with Gail at West Valley College we talked about different adjectives. When I insisted that 'weird' is a positive one, she did not disregard my opinion and wrote it under the positive column.
First thing, I was admitted to the ER of the French Viet Hospital because of stomach problem. I had unbearable pains for more than one week, so I finally gave up and seek for help. The following day I went in for a follow up appointment with a French doctor, who asked some short routine questions about where I came from, my employment status, my family life, etc. Then suddenly he glared at me and asked, 'Phoenix - Do you know who you are?' My reaction at the moment was 'What in the world is this doctor talking about?' I have been spending the last 12 years searching for my identity and thought that I was pretty good at knowing who I was. Now this French, robust, funny looking guy asked me this question. I was too tired to give him my Masters' Final Paper Speech. Yet after about five minutes listening to his speech, I was somewhat convinced by him that there was nothing wrong with my stomach or the digestive system. He referred me for endoscopy just to ease my fear, but his philosophy was that I was my own problem. Before I left, he gently told me 'Don't worry about being American; don't worry about being Vietnamese; just be Phoenix, eh.' I was very polite but honestly I just wanted to shout, 'Give me some medication - the pain is real.' Now three weeks have passed, the results came back, and I have not even the smallest problem with either my stomach or the colon. Oh, French doctors!!! I love them so.
We talked so much about culture shock in social studies, communication studies, cross cultural studies, but the reality of it is scary for me. After the honeymoon period, I felt like I was attacked from all directions, and it was so difficult to hang on to my core. I thought of quitting my job, returning to the US, going back to my previous safe and supportive environment. It was like hell. And, on top of that was being a mom, a daughter in law, a wife, a teacher, and a friend. I had no time for myself. Talking about self-caring in the field of counseling. I have been hunting yet couldn't find any qualified therapist. The only one I like I prefer him to stay a friend, so I am not going to break the relationship by becoming his client. During this time, one comment from my previous mentor, Dianne, rang in my ears, 'Perseverance, Phoenix, perseverance. You learned the most from experiences like that.' Yes, I have learned so much in the last four weeks.
The good news, to me, is that we will have a new female leader in July, yeah!!! Let's see how things turn out under her leadership. (Oops, I cannot help but show my feminism.)
The Vietnamese people are so sensitive. The older, the poorer, the male are the more sensitive persons. So I just generously smile to them, treat them with great respect, and expect a stare for reaction but learn not to be offended. A smile wins everything! Do not depend on the excellent customer service in this country. I am treated nicely only when I earn it - through being respectful, friendly but not to invasive. (That means a smile without direct eye contact - just like Princess Diana's smile. Oh please don't laugh - I am speaking the truth).
Ok, I guess this is it for this report. Ah, one more thing, for some reason Mother's Day was adopted as a holiday in Vietnam but not the Father's Day, so I forgot to send the fathers in my family and circle of friends the greetings. Shame on me! Happy belated Father's Day to you, my friends.
June 23, 2010
Saigon, Vietnam
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