Whenever I am in Hanoi Campus, I am thankful to our university's 'English Speaking Campus' policy. The reason is that the Northern accent always bring up bad memories which create unconscious mental block toward my students. The use of English enables me to see them for who they are, young men and women with eagerness to discover life, career, and love. English language acts as the bridge that narrows the gap between me, the daughter of the South, with them, the children of the North, the two parts of one country that were torn apart by war, stereotypes, and even hatred.
This is my fourth trip to Hanoi Campus, during which I work intensively from 8am to 11pm everyday. My schedule includes running workshop and providing individual counseling in school, as well as acting as students' spiritual mentor after work hours. The impact therefore is also more obvious than in the Saigon South Campus. Students know I am only here for a limited of time, so they try their best to utilize me, attend my workshops with committed participation, and chase me whenever they could to share, talk, and laugh. Conversations range from career development (of course) to love, youth, and sex! The latter part may sound inappropriate for career counselors who are trained in the Western world; however, I have learned that in Vietnam, the American Psychological Association's definition of dual relationship is not necessarily applicable. I have learned that going out with students after work hours provides much more benefits to their mental and spiritual well being. Of course, the confidentiality rule and the ability to keep a boundary between me and my students, especially male, are extraordinarily important. I can proudly say that I have mastered these two skills well. Thanks to Santa Clara University' Counseling Professors and my three older brothers' training.
For the last several days in Hanoi, I have had so many high moments. Students who were so depressed and hopeless two or three semesters ago came back with bright smiles, confident attitude, numerous hope, and clearer direction in life. Just one small push from me helped them start their journey of self-actualization, which created the needed trickle effect to their love life, their relationship with their parents, and their career development. I still remember the tears I had in my first trip to Hanoi, during which I doubted if my services could make any differences in the lives. And now, four semesters later the results slowly show.
Often in my workshops I am surprised by the deep sharing from my students, whose parents are working in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Ministry of Education, or the Ministry of whatever one can think of. And then I suddenly realize that these young men and women, one day, will be the leaders of this country. I find myself challenging their critical thinking more than ever, pushing them to question the authority and the habits that are created by what they called 'our culture says so.' I find myself looking in their eyes, giving them my energy, passion, and the ability to carry on the 'impossible dreams.' I want them to kindle that fire of motivation inside their heart because the moment they let that dream die, their spirit would die too! I don't want to see them becoming corporate leaders whose main goal is to make as much money as possible, who would forget that there was a period in their youth when they dreamed of music composing, fashion designing, charity working, and more. I don't want to see them becoming the national political leaders, whose main goal is to have as much power as possible despite the suffering of the nation's citizens and natural resources. I believe that if I (and others) could plan a seed now, regardless how tiny that seed is, then this country someday somehow may become a better place for the next generations.
Students - I have learned - are lovely regardless of where they come from, whose their parents are, and what position they will have after their graduation. They all share similar concerns of the Millennium Generation: Who do I become in the future? What if I fail at what I like to do? How do I know if my life is fulfilling or not?
My goal is to enable them to discover the answers on their own without losing their childhood dreams.
Hanoi, Vietnam.
March 19, 2010
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