Living in Vietnam is full of joy and challenges. One of the biggest difficulties that I just recently learned how to effectively cope with is the art of lending.
After three months living in Vietnam, I learned that people from all paths of life could easily come to borrow money from me. They could range from a distant relative, a 'xe om' rider to the massage technician, students and their families, or a random neighbor. I was shocked and overwhelmed by their requests and did not know how to deal with it appropriately.
After many trial and errors, I came up with the system that worked so well for me. I set aside a monthly 'micro-loan fund,' which I use for scholarships for my economically disadvantaged students or others whom I happen to know in hardship for school tuition. The unused portion of the fund is used for 'micro-loan' purpose. I do not discriminate who comes to borrow money, I would lend it to her/him half the amount of what they originally asked for, tell them not to worry about returning it until they are ready to, and never talk about it afterward.
Reasons are: People must be so desperate to borrow money from me, so that factor itself is a good reason to lend them. I never give them a full amount because first I cannot afford it, second I want them to come up with the rest of the amount from somewhere else. I know they would never have the ability to return the fund to me, so I treat it as a give-away rather than a loan. By not talking about it afterward I save their face, and if they never return the fund to me, they would never dare to ask to borrow again.
Because it is a monthly fund, I can deny lending requests if my fund for the month was exhausted and asked them to wait for the following month. That way I can keep my budget in control and not feel guilty by saying no. If they are reasonable, they could wait, and that is another proof that I am lending the right person.
All of this sounds illogical and irrational from Western perspective, but it makes perfect sense for me. I am making decent salary and living a comfortable life. I am not saving a lot, or not saving at all, but being able to help one and two person in desperate needs here and there, I believe, is saving my son lots of love for his future. I believe in 'what goes around comes around' and hope that the people who borrowed would some day give back to another person in need. And that is all that counts for me.
I have been implementing this new system for two months and felt so peaceful. I feel like I could balance between my emotional side and logical side. Now people can come to borrow money and I can either lend or postpone the act without hurting them or our relationship. For those who borrowed and did not return, they knew their chance was used and would never ask again.
Wish you all a peaceful time. Halloween is around the corner, and I do not know where to get Ian his costume. Being a mom is so challenging sometimes!
Saigon, Vietnam.
October 6th, 2010
P.S. This piece of writing is not intended to encourage its reader to come forward and borrow money from me :)
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