Interviewed and written by Thai Hai Yen, the RMIT Alumni Association Coordinator
In this issue, we would like to share with you the “career search journey” of RMIT Vietnam Career Counsellor and RMIT Vietnam alumna, Ms. Phoenix Ho. Phoenix is amongst RMIT Vietnam’s Acclaimed Alumni, having won the TNT Award for Outstanding Graduate in 2004. Phoenix is an experienced counsellor who received her Masters of Educational Leadership and Management in 2004 and Masters of Arts in Career Development Counselling from Santa Clara University in the US.
Her career pathway
Having taken many detours in finding her current career path, Phoenix believes that long “self-searching” journeys help make her a good career counsellor.
The first detour that she took was selecting a major, mathematics, which she was good at rather than passionate about. She chose a college rather than a university because “it’s easier, more fun and because [her] friends were there”. She got A’s in almost everything she studied but was confused about what her real strengths were. The confusion went on until one day when she spoke to a girl studying the same major; she saw the girl’s eyes shine with passion when talking about math… and asked herself “What am I doing?” She knew she needed a change.
Her “strength and passion” journey went on and at times it seemed never-ending. She switched to business; again not the right choice. It took Phoenix a very long time to discover what it was she really liked doing; and what it was that also matched her values. She returned to Vietnam and worked in a couple of organizations. She then decided to switch to the non-profit sector. However overseas Vietnamese, like her, were required to have a Masters degree. As she didn’t have a Masters Degree, Phoenix enrolled in the Masters of Education program at RMIT International University Vietnam. This was one of the biggest turning points in her life, and she believes this degree helped her a lot in strategic thinking.
According to Phoenix, many people can gain from getting broader life experience first before they move onto a Masters degree “so that they have enough experience and background to use and reflect upon” during these further studies.
Her career path includes flights back and forth from Vietnam to America. It includes job trials and several position changes until one day, when teaching a small group of students, she realized the light of hope at the end of the tunnel. Her heart told her she was born to become a counsellor. From the moment she stepped into her “Masters of Counselling class”, she knew her dream had come true - she had found the “real person” in her. It’s no surprise that the 2 years she has worked for RMIT Vietnam as a Career Counsellor is the time she has learned most about herself. Through student, parent, alumni and staff consultations, she found the beauty in her job was to enlighten people’s hearts and help them realise their real strengths, so that they could make up their mind on their own career decisions.
Most important factors affecting one’s career path
In her opinion, for different people there are different important factors that affect their career paths. There are people from a very young age who know exactly what they are good at. There are people who are good at many things, but don’t know what they are very good at. She used the example of her own sister, who is really talented in arts. Her sister realised her talent as a child and focused on it; everything was so easy for her. Phoenix thinks she belongs to the second group of people; those who find it really hard to recognise their real strengths. Culture also plays an instrumental role in helping find your strengths. If for example you live in a culture where only strengths in math and science are acknowledged, it’s hard if you excel at sports or have great interpersonal skills, because these strong points may not be considered strengths. It’s similar when students talk more than others because they’re extrovert; others tend to say they’re talkative. Therefore, it’s not always easy for people to learn about their strengths.
“My suggestion is to try every single thing you like. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. If you make a mistake, consider it something that you learn from. Whenever you hear a voice in your head telling you that you cannot do something, or it’s not your strength, then question, why. Did it come from your parents, did it come from society, culture or someone else you met in life that made you think you were not good at something. Always question, why we think the way we think. In short, I think the more you try, the more courageous you are; the better it is. You will never know what your strengths are until you discover them from trial.” According to Phoenix, “your strengths will come out naturally and most clearly when you suffer from obstacles and difficulties in life, because that’s when you realize your strong nature”. In this self-searching journey, good friends are very important. “You need friends who you can trust, who support and motivate you but dare to criticize you to make you better.”
Phoenix strongly believes in two things: First, before you know your career, you have to know who you are in terms of what you are good at, what your personality is, and what the values are in your life. Treat what you value most as the core and be comfortable with it. You need to love yourself before you can find out about your career dream. Otherwise, you will be continuously searching. At different stages in life, we have different priorities for our values and interests.
Second is to be open to happenstances in life, which are unpredictable happenings in your life. When they happen, instead of feeling sad, angry or afraid; what you should do is to embrace them and turn them into opportunities. For example, if you lose a job that you really like, instead of locking yourself in your room and crying, blaming yourself; I suggest you take a chance to travel, meet new people, talk with a career counsellor and let everybody know you are available for a new job.
For Phoenix, finding a career is a lifelong learning process.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Sharing from Vietnam - The Art of Lending
Living in Vietnam is full of joy and challenges. One of the biggest difficulties that I just recently learned how to effectively cope with is the art of lending.
After three months living in Vietnam, I learned that people from all paths of life could easily come to borrow money from me. They could range from a distant relative, a 'xe om' rider to the massage technician, students and their families, or a random neighbor. I was shocked and overwhelmed by their requests and did not know how to deal with it appropriately.
After many trial and errors, I came up with the system that worked so well for me. I set aside a monthly 'micro-loan fund,' which I use for scholarships for my economically disadvantaged students or others whom I happen to know in hardship for school tuition. The unused portion of the fund is used for 'micro-loan' purpose. I do not discriminate who comes to borrow money, I would lend it to her/him half the amount of what they originally asked for, tell them not to worry about returning it until they are ready to, and never talk about it afterward.
Reasons are: People must be so desperate to borrow money from me, so that factor itself is a good reason to lend them. I never give them a full amount because first I cannot afford it, second I want them to come up with the rest of the amount from somewhere else. I know they would never have the ability to return the fund to me, so I treat it as a give-away rather than a loan. By not talking about it afterward I save their face, and if they never return the fund to me, they would never dare to ask to borrow again.
Because it is a monthly fund, I can deny lending requests if my fund for the month was exhausted and asked them to wait for the following month. That way I can keep my budget in control and not feel guilty by saying no. If they are reasonable, they could wait, and that is another proof that I am lending the right person.
All of this sounds illogical and irrational from Western perspective, but it makes perfect sense for me. I am making decent salary and living a comfortable life. I am not saving a lot, or not saving at all, but being able to help one and two person in desperate needs here and there, I believe, is saving my son lots of love for his future. I believe in 'what goes around comes around' and hope that the people who borrowed would some day give back to another person in need. And that is all that counts for me.
I have been implementing this new system for two months and felt so peaceful. I feel like I could balance between my emotional side and logical side. Now people can come to borrow money and I can either lend or postpone the act without hurting them or our relationship. For those who borrowed and did not return, they knew their chance was used and would never ask again.
Wish you all a peaceful time. Halloween is around the corner, and I do not know where to get Ian his costume. Being a mom is so challenging sometimes!
Saigon, Vietnam.
October 6th, 2010
P.S. This piece of writing is not intended to encourage its reader to come forward and borrow money from me :)
After three months living in Vietnam, I learned that people from all paths of life could easily come to borrow money from me. They could range from a distant relative, a 'xe om' rider to the massage technician, students and their families, or a random neighbor. I was shocked and overwhelmed by their requests and did not know how to deal with it appropriately.
After many trial and errors, I came up with the system that worked so well for me. I set aside a monthly 'micro-loan fund,' which I use for scholarships for my economically disadvantaged students or others whom I happen to know in hardship for school tuition. The unused portion of the fund is used for 'micro-loan' purpose. I do not discriminate who comes to borrow money, I would lend it to her/him half the amount of what they originally asked for, tell them not to worry about returning it until they are ready to, and never talk about it afterward.
Reasons are: People must be so desperate to borrow money from me, so that factor itself is a good reason to lend them. I never give them a full amount because first I cannot afford it, second I want them to come up with the rest of the amount from somewhere else. I know they would never have the ability to return the fund to me, so I treat it as a give-away rather than a loan. By not talking about it afterward I save their face, and if they never return the fund to me, they would never dare to ask to borrow again.
Because it is a monthly fund, I can deny lending requests if my fund for the month was exhausted and asked them to wait for the following month. That way I can keep my budget in control and not feel guilty by saying no. If they are reasonable, they could wait, and that is another proof that I am lending the right person.
All of this sounds illogical and irrational from Western perspective, but it makes perfect sense for me. I am making decent salary and living a comfortable life. I am not saving a lot, or not saving at all, but being able to help one and two person in desperate needs here and there, I believe, is saving my son lots of love for his future. I believe in 'what goes around comes around' and hope that the people who borrowed would some day give back to another person in need. And that is all that counts for me.
I have been implementing this new system for two months and felt so peaceful. I feel like I could balance between my emotional side and logical side. Now people can come to borrow money and I can either lend or postpone the act without hurting them or our relationship. For those who borrowed and did not return, they knew their chance was used and would never ask again.
Wish you all a peaceful time. Halloween is around the corner, and I do not know where to get Ian his costume. Being a mom is so challenging sometimes!
Saigon, Vietnam.
October 6th, 2010
P.S. This piece of writing is not intended to encourage its reader to come forward and borrow money from me :)
Sharing from Vietnam - Fortune Teller #3
My close friends and colleagues have learned of my recent wish, which is to meet 100 fortune tellers in Vietnam. Goal? Not sure yet and I'll let it evolve itself. Turning 34, I think it is fun to do things just for the sake of doing and worry less about the end results.
So I met the fortune teller number 3 on a Sunday morning, with a close colleague, before I headed out to spend time with the lovely kids in an HIV Orphanage in Thu Duc District. On the phone Ms. H sounded rude, short-tempered, and arrogant; therefore, I was surprised by her kind words, open-mindedness, and understanding manner when we met in person. I was charmed after five minutes of listening to her, and I thought to myself 'This is someone I'd like to know as a friend.'
During the conversation, my career counseling instinct came up several times, and I must try really hard to control the urge of asking her to quit her current job and take a Masters degree in Counseling to join our field of work. This lady is a natural counselor and psychologist! She does not try to be mysterious; instead, she often follows her statement with logical explanation. She uses precise language to articulate her ideas and would repeat herself until the client shows their comprehension. She has kindness in her heart, and she really enjoys her work. She is also among the few fortune tellers who only see clients on appointment bases and set boundary to enjoy her personal life. Again, I would like to become this woman's friend.
I almost laughed aloud when she frankly stated, 'You cannot reveal your forehead like that. Do something with your hair to cover it. And you must fix your nose. Otherwise, men look at you and they are intimidated. You must fool them by covering your intelligence and ugly feature.' My God! Mom has always been proud of my forehead although she teases me all the time. And I never worried about my flat nose, which feature I think makes me look authentically Vietnamese. Sadly I secretly agreed about the 'intimidation part' but had no desire to cover my intelligence for any reason. She kindly explained that such a flat nose is not good for a woman's love life, and fixing it would bring good luck to my romantic relationship.
Beside that 'odd' advice, the rest of the conversation was meaningful, I think. She talked about my personality type and how it impacted my lifestyle and life quality. She mentioned career failures and successes and analyzed the few men in my life. She talked about the sadness and joy of a woman, the role of a mother, and how unfair life could be. Most importantly, I felt good because she made me feel she liked me as a person, and she gave me her full attention the whole time. In addition to that, this lady did not act like she knew everything (except the flat nose part). She gave her advice carefully, showed respect for her clients, and genuinely cared about them. I came to that conclusion because I could hear her conversation with the guys before me and the girlfriend after me. I like this woman a lot.
In conclusion, the third fortune teller has been the best experience so far. Since I am open about my wish of seeing 100 fortune tellers, acquaintances and friends have given me lots of suggestions. For budgeting and timing purpose, this project may take a long time to complete. And without a research question, I really don't know where I am heading. But hey, life is more fun that way, so why not take the risk, right?
I wish you all a good time. It's autumn time in the US, and I miss California, Dad and Mom, brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces, and crazy friends terribly. I am starting a new semester in two weeks, with lots of changes and joyful projects. Oh, one more thing, my students converted me to a facebooker, so you can connect to me now using facebook :)
With lots of love,
Saigon, Vietnam
October 2010
So I met the fortune teller number 3 on a Sunday morning, with a close colleague, before I headed out to spend time with the lovely kids in an HIV Orphanage in Thu Duc District. On the phone Ms. H sounded rude, short-tempered, and arrogant; therefore, I was surprised by her kind words, open-mindedness, and understanding manner when we met in person. I was charmed after five minutes of listening to her, and I thought to myself 'This is someone I'd like to know as a friend.'
During the conversation, my career counseling instinct came up several times, and I must try really hard to control the urge of asking her to quit her current job and take a Masters degree in Counseling to join our field of work. This lady is a natural counselor and psychologist! She does not try to be mysterious; instead, she often follows her statement with logical explanation. She uses precise language to articulate her ideas and would repeat herself until the client shows their comprehension. She has kindness in her heart, and she really enjoys her work. She is also among the few fortune tellers who only see clients on appointment bases and set boundary to enjoy her personal life. Again, I would like to become this woman's friend.
I almost laughed aloud when she frankly stated, 'You cannot reveal your forehead like that. Do something with your hair to cover it. And you must fix your nose. Otherwise, men look at you and they are intimidated. You must fool them by covering your intelligence and ugly feature.' My God! Mom has always been proud of my forehead although she teases me all the time. And I never worried about my flat nose, which feature I think makes me look authentically Vietnamese. Sadly I secretly agreed about the 'intimidation part' but had no desire to cover my intelligence for any reason. She kindly explained that such a flat nose is not good for a woman's love life, and fixing it would bring good luck to my romantic relationship.
Beside that 'odd' advice, the rest of the conversation was meaningful, I think. She talked about my personality type and how it impacted my lifestyle and life quality. She mentioned career failures and successes and analyzed the few men in my life. She talked about the sadness and joy of a woman, the role of a mother, and how unfair life could be. Most importantly, I felt good because she made me feel she liked me as a person, and she gave me her full attention the whole time. In addition to that, this lady did not act like she knew everything (except the flat nose part). She gave her advice carefully, showed respect for her clients, and genuinely cared about them. I came to that conclusion because I could hear her conversation with the guys before me and the girlfriend after me. I like this woman a lot.
In conclusion, the third fortune teller has been the best experience so far. Since I am open about my wish of seeing 100 fortune tellers, acquaintances and friends have given me lots of suggestions. For budgeting and timing purpose, this project may take a long time to complete. And without a research question, I really don't know where I am heading. But hey, life is more fun that way, so why not take the risk, right?
I wish you all a good time. It's autumn time in the US, and I miss California, Dad and Mom, brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces, and crazy friends terribly. I am starting a new semester in two weeks, with lots of changes and joyful projects. Oh, one more thing, my students converted me to a facebooker, so you can connect to me now using facebook :)
With lots of love,
Saigon, Vietnam
October 2010
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)