Ten years ago I celebrated my 25th birthday in Taipei, Taiwan, and thought that was the best year in my life. Ten years later I am in Vietnam waiting for my 35th birthday to arrive in several hours, and decide that this will be the best one so far. Fiona, my colleague in RMIT Vietnam said, 'Oh, wait until you get to 40. THAT is the best.' Well, I trust Fiona, so it seems like aging is a fun process after all.
The year that I spent in Taiwan was the first period in life when I lived away from all my loved ones and had the opportunity to deeply reflect on life's various areas, including career choice, friendship, family, and the meaning of being Vietnamese American. That year marked an important turning point in my identity formation and career development, which enabled me to eventually discovered my career call. This past year has also been full of reflection in another important aspect of life, relationship and its impact on me. And it seems like my 35th birthday marks another important turning point in self-actualization when I finally discover the answer to my painful search for the meaning of love.
At the door of age 35, I serenely observe the woman I have become and feel so proud of her. It is a precious feeling that I make my own living, pay my rent, manage my household, help support others' financial needs, raise my son, and most of the time be aware of my decision making. I like the fact that I like my appearance, make no attempt to alter it, work to keep myself in shape for my own happiness, and hold no envy toward other beautiful women. I do not possess many materials in life and enjoy the freedom from that lifestyle. Matters that used to give me pain no longer bother me. Life becomes much simpler, for I learn how to use values as my guidance. I focus on my strength for self-development, and confidently ask for help from others in area of weaknesses. I appreciate my colleagues for who they are, and not shy of showing my love and care for those around me. Life is so beautiful when I know who I am, why I am who I am, and live truthfully to that person.
Birthday has always been an important event in our family's tradition. Regardless of our financial difficulty in the old days, Mom always managed to have some specialty took place in our birthday, either a chicken drumstick for the birthday boy/girl at dinner time, or a special poem that she specifically created for us. Therefore, birthday is the time when I miss my family members the most. Over the years, I knew that no matter what happened, my parents, brothers, and sisters would always remember my birthday, and a simple dinner for celebration with the kids' laughter are the best gifts I could receive.
This year Ian, my little bear, promised to blow me a candle and becomes one year older with me. When I shared, 'Ian, Mommy is going to be 35 tomorrow,' he seriously whispered in my ears, 'Mommy, I will be four tomorrow too.' In short, happy birthday to me, and I wish that I could stay on earth at least another 35 years to share with you the joy of living.
Last but not least, thank you for your presence in my life.
Saigon, Vietnam.
January 5th, 2011
